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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Good-bye, forever.

Love you Gal ♥

I love you too honey, lots and lots and lots. You’re a good friend, and heaven knows I need those always. Hoping you’re okay. ♡

Loving the wind-swept picture of us all in Haworth haha c:

It’s brilliant. I love Beth’s face most of all, but I’m sad that I didn’t have better pictures of Oscar, he was such a beautiful cat!

Grizzly Bear | Two Weeks

Save up all the days
A routine malaise 
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

I am so grateful for everything Conor has done for me recently. He’s really stood up for me, and it means so much. He’s my best friend, and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

I dug this skirt out from the back of my wardrobe and I love it so, so much. I wish I could wear it always. 
You really shouldn't delete itjust because one or two people don't like what your writing, otherwise the same will happen with no matter what you do, stay strong in the face of adversity

I always thought that, but every time I’ve stood up for my own words I’ve been shot down. I’ve lost some friends over my anxiety and the way it makes me feel, they think I don’t like them when really they just make me so nervous because I’m trying to talk but it’s really hard sometimes… I think I might just have to stop.

Oh :( I apologize. I don't want you to delete your blog! You're such a beautiful person.

You are so very wonderful, and if you send me a little message soon, I will tell you where to find my thoughts after this. There will always be a place, but it may just have to be more secret than before, ok? I need the people like you to stay in my life. Don’t worry. 

Why don't you just keep a diary in one of your moleskins to help you order your thoughts?

Indeed. I am seriously considering shutting the blog down, reader. It started as a nice way for me to keep my thoughts, it has become reassurance of who I am really. The reason I started blogging was to help me climb out of my extremely anti-social shell, and I often look back through it and think of all the nice days I’ve had since I started coming out of depression and how many people I’ve met just like me because of it. But now it has become useless, because it’s not mine anymore. Too many assumptions have been made, it’s been taken too factually. It wasn’t made to influence my life, it was made to document it. People are nosy, and they think everything I write is about them. The truth is, half of the time I’m writing about several different people at once, including (a lot of the time) myself. 

I know that you’re right, and I should never have kept my thoughts in such a public domain, but when I started I didn’t even have any friends to read it. Now, there are so many people in my life and it’s changed the dynamic. You’re right, you’re right. It’s been a wonderful two years though, and I’m not eager to let it go. It’s going to be hard. I’ll miss the nice ones. 

It is my own fault for trying to keep my feelings, my thoughts, reasonably private. Even with this audience. I started this blog to voice my thoughts so that they weren’t in my head, spurring on my depression and insomnia, ruining my life. Now I can’t use any names; people make assumptions; my thoughts eat away at the inside and I’m rotting. 

So, three things:
"Some People on the Pitch" won an award for our entrepreneurial talents yesterday, which is really amazing and I’m so happy for everyone who’s been involved. 
I played a gig last night up at a church in Sowerby Bridge and it went quite well - it didn’t really feel like my kind of audience, though. 
And, we did a Secret Santa with the gang. Interesting results, from what I’ve heard.